OK, I've gone from moaning about not showing at all and fears surrounding the reason that might be, to looking obese. Clearly, I still do not look pregnant unless I lean back excessively with a pained expression on my face and a hand held lamely to my lumber region, but I do look overweight. Now in addition to the thighs the size of France, I have a belly. I look as though I have eaten too many pies. Which I have. I look remarkably similar to someone who has spent the last two months stopping at every petrol station to buy Mars bars and then eating them before the next petrol station in order to be able to get out and buy Snickers. Which I (largely) also have. Largaely being the optimum word.
I have had to go through my wardrobe (to prevent depression) and remove all clothes that are "suddenly" too snug. These are mostly blouses and skirts that I don't wear anyway. The blouses are not too tight around the bosum area (that would be normal); oh no, my blouses are too tight around the upper midriff. The actual anatomical stomach region. Is that baby? Clearly, not. It is burgers and pies and chocolate.
Hence, I can still wear my trousers (apart from the thighs and buttocks thing). I am not pregnant: I have a tumor.
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