Nine and a half weeks

I have actually never seen that film. Maybe it is good thing
Anyway. Nine and a half weeks is what I allegedly am. Nausea is at a new level which involves eating constantly whilst not feeling in the slightest hungry. If I allow my mandibles to stop chomping, however, I feel even worse. I almost dehydrated myself on Saturday by only drinking two cups of tea (at breakfast) all day and then spending most of the day outside. I wondered why I felt so ill by 8pm.
Sunday we spent gardening and apart from nearly breaking my back and getting sunburn, I was at least enough bevereged.
So, this weeks concerns:
I am not as fat for the same weeks as I was with Christopher. Don't get me wrong, I am still gaining weight. I am eating like a monster and mostly fatty foods like breads and burgers. Yummy. I am beginning to not fit into my trousers but not because of my gut, but because of my behind.
My backside is about four times its 'normal' size. This is, of course, due to the gross amount of calories I daily consume.
Which leads me to these concerns:
Am I actually pregnant? Or am I making it up? Am I experiencing one of those phantom pregnancies that women get who have been trying for a baby for years? The nausea been less than last time too and this may be because I am only faking this pregnancy and deluding myself about the morning/all day sickness.
If I am pregnant, why is my baby not growing as much as it should? Has it stopped growing? Is it malformed in some way and thus so small? Has the placenta not formed and thus my womb is mere 50% normal size?
If I am pregnant and the baby is growing, why is is not growing quickly enough? Is it abnormal or deformed in some way and thus tiny?
Oh, and I am so out of breath all the time. I don't remember that from before. Not at this stage, anyway. Last time at 8 weeks or so I was in hospital with Jonathan with his broken leg and I don't remember being physically impaired. I remember being fat, but not out of breath or anything.
I have stopped weeing every five minutes but that maybe because I have been forgetting to drink and the weather is hotter.
I am concerned.
I wish Dr Gerber had done a scan when I saw her. I wonder if she didn't because I had Christopher with me? I had a scan at seven and a half weeks with Robert and at my first visit with Isabel (10 weeks). Now I have to wait until 20th May (3 weeks) before I even know if there is a baby inside...
At least I don't have to worry aboutt quins or quads since I have no clear womb growth yet. If there were more than one in there then I would be the size of a small bungalow already. I just have the (a) is there a child worry and (b) is the child deformed worry.
I am 35 afterall. That is ancient.